Wedding Stress: A Broken Calm

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11 days out, and we’re looking for a break in the storm.

Before I go much further, Paige and I have offered our thoughts and appropriate condolences to the people of Japan, primarily Kyoto, that were affected by Typhoon Man-Yi which forced hundreds of thousands of residents to evacuate their houses before the storm’s 3 inches an hour filled the streets with the swollen Katsura.

pb-130916-japan-da-05.photoblog900(Image: Kyodo News via NBC News)

Considering the aftermath of the typhoon, I would ask you to understand that Paige and I offered to help in any way we could once we arrived in Japan, and the stress that I refer to from here on is no reflection on how we feel about the community in Kyoto, but rather simple frustration with ourselves for not developing a back up plan.

So.

Our frustration began with the invitations that we sent out. All of the addresses had been handwritten to express how much each person meant to us, thinking that penmanship and hard work would be appreciated by our closest friends. The problem though, came from the wonderful US Postal Service. Apparently, cursive is a one-way ticket to postal purgatory, and we now have about 70 invitations floating around the US with a final headcount due to our venue today.

As you can probably assume, this debacle has been no cup of tea. Our strongest source of comfort, until last week, was Japan. Our flights were taken care of, reservations made at a beautiful resort along the river in Kyoto, and time to relax away from everything.

Friday night however, our contact with Hoshinoya Kyoto emailed us to let us know that the damage caused by the typhoon has closed the resort for the duration of the year. Again, we responded with concern for the well-being of the staff and the community, but in the humble nature of our host, the resort encouraged us to look at other options and to focus on our honeymoon.

To put that in perspective, our honeymoon which has been planned for two months, was literally washed away in a night, with two weeks until we would be heading to a country with a language we are struggling to learn, in addition to the invitation debacle we are trying to work through. Given the challenges, I was told this adage:

The rockier the wedding, the stronger the marriage.

I feel, at this point, that we’re building a house on stone, where the shifting sands of time will be hard-pressed in disturbing the foundation we’ve been building the last four years.

In the end, we can’t wait for the wedding. Our closest friends have all reminded us how much we are loved and how strong their faith is in our future, and we couldn’t be more grateful for it. Japan will be an adventure, despite the ironic shift of our honeymoon from calm to the storm that it was preluding.

As a final piece of advice, keep your wedding small, invite the people that really matter, and have fun. When the unexpected happens, roll with it, and make the best of every situation.

Wedding Stress: 3 Weeks of Honesty

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Getting married is an exciting thing, a celebration of two people’s love and two families coming together.

Paige and I knew going into it that the description above is fantastic, maybe a little less than realistic, but if ever there was a time for optimism, then our wedding was perfect.

Right?

What we didn’t realize was that our happiness literally seems to be bringing out the worst in people. Selfish complaints of involvement in the activities leading up to the event, questions and grilling sessions about why some people weren’t invited or if our minds have been changed about those decisions. We had no idea that our attempt at not being pessimistic about our own wedding would become so problematic.

So what’s happening?

Unfortunately, not all of the details can be discussed here, in part to protect those that are involved, but also because we’re still trying to figure out what is actually going through everyone else’s heads that makes them think their behavior is ok.

The one thing that I can proudly tell you though, is that through all of the stress, and through all of stupid opinions and attitudes that we’ve had to deal with, my sister has been there for me. Yes, Paige and I are here for each other, but my sister has been right behind us reminding us that it isn’t selfish to want the best from everybody. She says that we should be spoiled right now, and though it’s not what we’re looking for, it is nice to know that somebody believes we should be feeling excited and relieved about the wedding being right around the corner.

Understanding that, we have three weeks until the wedding. Thanks to attitudes and us being fed up with so many people thinking they should be the focus of the attention, my typical filter that strains out harsh truth has been diminished. Unfortunately, the next three weeks are queueing up to be full of reality checks and blunt honesty.

We are still excited to be married, to officially begin our lives together, but the wedding just seems like a hassle at this point. So if you are one of those people that can help make the days leading up to that day a little less intense, we’d really appreciate it if you helped keep everyone calm and in check.

That’s a little depressing for a Monday, but the week can only go up from here!